Monday, October 6

It seems I talk too much, y'all.

I've often thought that I could never write a book. It would end up as a pamphlet. Since I was 14, I've found that if I say too much, most of what I say either misrepresents the truth or doesn't make sense, and often gets me into trouble. It's better to keep it short and simple.

I'm not a good conversationalist. I can listen, but often struggle to come up with something to say. Oh, I'll think of lots of things to say, but my internal editor decides against actually saying much of it aloud. The result is awkward silence. And who likes that?

In the interest of letting people here get to know me, I've worked at using a little of what I learned in the South and sharing a bit about myself when people ask. But using a Southern style doesn't work in the North. People here don't want to open up about themselves, nor do they want to hear details about me. Here, succinct is good. In fact, I'm sure this is where I learned it originally. I can be succinct in conversation, I just have to set aside what little training I did pick up in Kentucky.

I wonder if there's a middle ground, say, in Illinois or Indiana, where I'd fit right in?


  1. The west coast is pretty good for that. At least, amongst the people I've met, I fit better here than anywhere else I've been. Some people talk more than me, other less. And no one minds one little bit.

  2. I know what you mean. On a visit to WI I discovered that if you try to strike up a conversation with someone at the grocery store they just look at you like you "need a helmet". In KY it would be the height of rudeness NOT to speak to people you don't know.

  3. You know, I've thought about this before. I've learned to make chit chat with total strangers when out and about. NOT something I was used to before I moved to KY. At ALL. I still prefer to go about my business 90% of the time. But the other 10% has been Kentuckified. lol

    I've always guessed that I would likely NOT fit in as far North as New York, but that I would probably fit in in WI/MN.

    Did you ever notice, though, that *sometimes* the politeness in these here parts is, ummm, fake? Like, sweet-tea-friendly to your face and then stab-you-in-the-back when you are gone? I have a hard time with that. Sure, be friendly and smiley, but don't say rude things when I'm no longer there.

    Anywho, you do NOT talk too much. Hugs, Robin

  4. I remember visiting Grandma (I love my Grandma :)) and shopping with her in Wisconsin. This lady asked me about a skirt I was buying, and so we had a conversation. Grandma just stood there and listened. Afterwords, Grandma was like "Wow, it's interesting that that stranger just went up and talked to you..."

    The difference between northern and southern social manners is colossal.

  5. Heidi, we love you just the way you are and enjoy all you have to say. Mom and Doug Martin

  6. Here in SW MI, we have a mix. I am married to a succinct person, but I think succinct is the height of social evil. He doesn't always handle social situations very well because he has never mastered chit-chat, but I don't always handle social situations very well because I'm in it for the conversation and not everyone appreciates that.

    People in northern MN are probably used to keeping their mouths shut to protect themselves from strep in the cold weather and it evolved into a social thing.

    It's not you, it's them.