Economic wish list

I was only able to skim the first 172 pages of the House economic stimulus bill. After that the absurdity was just too much. It reads like a child's Christmas wish list, before the "Ok, now let's get real" part. And yet, most of the Democrats are drooling over the thought of all that extra money, not considering the real cost of such outrageous debt.

In the spirit of understanding, I'd like to share my own absurd wish list:

1. Physical health - To ensure the optimal physical health of the family, we will need a complete inspection of our home, to include inspection for pests, mold, asbestos, lead, and other harmful substances. We will also hire a chiropractor, nutritionist, cook, personal trainer, and homeopath. All expenses for training, equipment, supplies, and modifications will be covered. So will doctor visits and prescriptions, of course. Dental and orthodontic care will be covered, including general anesthesia when desired.
   
2. Mental health - Costs covered will include psychiatric evaluations, therapies, drugs, weekly date nights, monthly retreats, and quarterly vacations complete with qualified respite care provider for special needs children. Hobbies shall also be covered in full, to include additional buildings and equipment as necessary.
   
3. Housing - Monies will be provided for kitchen expansion and renovation to include energy saving appliances and code compliant installation of wood cook stove, bathroom remodel to include rearrangement of fixtures in such a way as to reduce skinned knuckles and general irritation. House shall be equipped with iron removal system for all plumbing, new water softener, secondary laundry facilities, walk-in freezer, new and matching siding on all parts of house regardless of age, functional windows in front room, insulation over bathroom ceiling, updated soffits, and solar panels on south-facing roof. Squeaky floors, cracks in walls, poorly painted trim, and faulty drywall fasteners shall all be repaired. Woodwork shall be restored to its original beauty, as shall all hardwood floors. Basement shall be sealed against water leakage, and all possible causes of such leakage shall be eliminated.
4. Education - Laptops shall be provided for each student, fully loaded with necessary hardware and software for optimal educational opportunities at each grade level. All books shall be covered upon approval by primary educator, with oversight provided by chief administrator. Funding shall be provided for biweekly field trips, to include lodging and meals as necessary. Tutoring shall be provided as deemed necessary by primary educator. Costs of state mandated testing will be covered by local school district; however, chief administrator will retain sole rights to viewing of results of said tests. Funding will also be provided for enrichment classes and activities, to include summer camp, driver's ed, and private music lessons.
5. Transportation - An outrageous sum shall be provided for shiny, new vehicles for each licensed driver in the household, until September 30, 2012. Vehicles will be chosen based on the needs of the primary driver. Considerations will include cargo space, gas mileage, leg room, temperature control, and typical driving conditions. An honest and reliable mechanic will be kept on retainer, with all upgrade, maintenance, and repair costs covered by this plan. To properly house these vehicles, demolition of the old garage and construction of a new garage will take place ASAP. In order to prevent damage to vehicles occurring on our property, the driveway will be upgraded to asphalt, with special considerations for the swampy nature of the property.
   
6. Sustenance - Money and professional help shall be provided for livestock, its housing and equipment, raised garden beds filled with luxuriously amended soil, a lovely and functional root cellar, and a summer kitchen outfitted with all necessary equipment for food preservation. In addition, house shall be equipped with all necessary improvements to ensure smooth operation of appliances and utilities in case of power outage.

Yeah, ok, that was fun. And look at how many jobs would be created!

Now it's time to get real. Some of those things may be necessary, and we'll find a way to cover them without additional debt. But nothing on that list addresses the real need we have, to seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness.

Does our nation need that any less than you or I do?

And do they really think it's worthwhile to buy condoms on credit?