Tax Season

Because I have nothing better to do love creating silly things on the computer, I have created tax return forms for my paycheck-receiving children. After figuring exemptions, income, adjustments, tax and credits, other taxes, and payments, they will each find that they are receiving a refund.

See, when we pay the kids, we withhold a percentage for the "family fund" which is used for trips and other fun stuff. That's their taxes.

Here are some of the highlights of this year's tax return:

They get to claim exemptions based on the expenses they're expected to cover. There are adjustments for college fund contributions and any expenses for eyeglasses, glass eyes, and prosthetic limbs. They could itemize deductions, but after wasting several minutes on Schedule D, they will find that they'd do better to simply claim the standard deduction.

They are free to donate money to their parents just for fun, which would be added to their tax. There are credits for helping old ladies cross the road, hauling wash water from a nearby aquifer, and correspondence via USPS (also hardly worth their time, since they would qualify except they can't prove it).

There is a self-hair-cutting tax, as calculated on Schedule SH. Poor Jon! There is also a tax on vehicles driven on public highways, complete with its own form. There is a bald eagle feather tax which requires one to attach the feather and form EGL.

We then figure their total payments by adding the tax withheld, price of family entertainment tickets or restaurant meals (with accompanying receipts), and a plane ticket credit if they are due one according to attached Schedule :P.

Finally, they can subtract their tax from their payments and find they are due a refund. They can even have it deposited electronically to their savings accounts.

I think this will give them a healthy dose of the fun and frustration we all experience each year.

So now you know why I haven't finished my to-do list lately!