73 Degrees and Autumn-y

The air has an autumn glow about it this afternoon, so I took the kids outside to play. Normally I'd send them out, but today I went with them. I walked until I was winded, then came back in. That didn't take long, since I'm out of shape and recovering from respiratory crud, but it felt (and smelled) so good to be out there!

This has been a modestly productive week so far. We're plugging away at chores, school, and a bunch of desk work I'd been putting off forever. It feels really good to be getting back into the swing of things again. I have no doubt that we'll be doing great by Thanksgiving, and will hate to take a break from school at that time. Maybe we won't this year. We'll see.

Jonathan had a monumental day today. He and I discussed Michael Pearl's wisdom regarding 7 year olds:

"By the time a child reaches seven, he should be making your life easier. A house full of seven-year-olds ought to be self-sustaining."

I explained that we'd been putting off this expectation in his case, trying to make allowances for his unique challenges. But since I thought Jon was reasonably prepared and he was sure of it, we made some changes in his life. Today we updated his chore list, passed on a couple of his chores to Mike and Grace, and put him on the payroll. That's a huge deal at our house. He now earns $1/week per year of age. He gets a check, from which "taxes" have been deducted. He tithes on the gross amount, saves, and uses his spending money to cover everything except toiletry items, curriculum, and groceries. I've also explained to him that if he wants to continue wearing diapers, he can buy those himself. BIG decision time for Jon! Yes, he'll be able to afford that if he chooses. He'll also have to buy his own clothes. I have a feeling this may cut down on his urge to destroy his clothing, though it won't surprise me if he has to buy a few items before he gets it.

True to form, he's had a challenging day since then. No meltdowns, just a lot of whimpering and complaining about silly things, and pretending to be confused about something quite ridiculous. At the end of the day, though, I think we'll come through it all right.

I appreciate technology. I'm on hold with Loren's benefit enrollment people, so I decided to blog while I wait. They tell me I'm the 6th in line. I could get irritated about being on hold, but I remember waiting on the line for 45 minutes to get my children well baby appointments at the clinic on Ft. Carson 10 years ago... with a corded phone, a toddler, and a baby! Now THAT was a drag!

Ok, I just found out that open enrollment doesn't start until Thursday, which is why I couldn't enroll online. Looking... looking... looking... nowhere does it say the start date in the paperwork. Ok, so I'm not the only one who forgets things sometimes. (sigh)

Tonight we're trying our hand at crockpot lasagna. We ate lunch at 4:00, so I guess we'll have a late supper. LOL But first we'll watch Surface.

Speaking of technology, I want to watch movies and network TV programs on my computer. I'd rather have it on my PC than on my cell phone. Is that possible?

Reason #59

to home church:


Or maybe go straight to a prayer meetin'!


Praise the Lord! We lost a tree and a huge limb in last night's storm, but they were both up the hill and not near the house. I often stay awake during such storms just in case a tree falls on the house. Wouldn't that be a rude awakening?!

I'm so thankful for a husband who will tighten the chain on his chainsaw when I mention that it's loose, rather than disregard my interference.

Do the next thing

Well shucks! I updated last night, but must've been distracted before I posted the update. It was all about our great camping trip last weekend. We had a BLAST! Rather than recreate it, I'll let you read my friend Nancy's take on it and see some of the pictures I took.

My health has been going steadily downhill since we got back. It started as a benign sinus thing, but I felt it settle in my chest, which is always a bad sign. Add insomnia and exhaustion, and you've got a recipe for yuck.

Every day I look at the camping stuff that's still out and think, "Ugh, not today." Then I look at my perky, completely doable school plan and think, "Ugh, not today." Then I look around at the housework beckoning to me, and think, "Ugh, not today." It's beginning to feel like a Richard Scarry book, the ending of which would include me and the kids getting plenty of rest, waking up healthy, and deciding, "Yes, we'll do it today!"

I keep trying to tell myself to do the next thing, in my best Elisabeth Elliot voice. For some reason, though, that just leads to me pacing through the house again before flopping back down. It's so totally pathetic!! I don't think it's at ALL what Mrs. Elliot had in mind.

(Ok, I just threw away a lozenge wrapper. Woo-hoo... progress!)

Let me tell you about my dear husband. He's been sick, too. And yet, he's been picking up a lot of the slack for me this week, even though I've been grumbling at him. Today I told him that I was feeling critical and oversensitive, and asked him to stop me if I start going off on him. My mind kept drifting to his flaws as well as my own. He took it in stride and had a snappy comeback for me. And then, you know what he did? He packed up the kids (and Manoah, the Traveling Wonder Dog) and took them to town. He has a big plan for them which includes playing at the park and eating at Wendy's. What a husband!

Of course, I feel guilty for not getting all sorts of housework done while he's gone, since that's normally what I love to do with my "alone" time at home. That's not happening today. But I did get a chance to think about my current circumstances. And I realized that I'm being very short-sighted. My illness, the state of the house and the camping gear, and all the things that are bugging me right now will likely be non-issues in a week or two. God must just be shaking His head at my foolishness. Here He's got all of eternity laid out for me, and I can't see beyond my box of tissues and cup of tea. It's times like this when I wish I were better at pressing toward the mark. Most of the time I do well to just recognize the mark.

I'm so thankful that when I confess this to God, He is faithful and just to forgive me. It brings peace and hope, and the courage to "do the next thing."

So now I will go spiff the kitchen, fill up my God-shaped hole, and get ready for a good night's sleep... AFTER I submit this post!

Exposed

Yesterday I was exposed as the shallow fraud that I am. You know those stereotypical nightmares where you find yourself naked in public? It felt just like that. Even with big, comfy clothes on.

But first, let me back up. Actually, let's back up all the way to the root of the problem: I don't lean on God nearly enough. He is not the first one I think of in the morning, nor is He always the last one I think of at night. There have been days when the children and I don't mention God in conversation. There are even days when we don't open a Bible, even in a browser window. And as you can see, my writings are not full praises and acknowledgements of our Creator.

There. I've said it. Our roots are shallow and our fruit is small and withered. And yesterday, everyone who attended the homeschool meeting got to see it.

We met at a new location, which didn't quite work out as planned, so once we got there, we had to make some last-minute changes. My right-hand person, whose job is to oversee the childrens' classes, couldn't make it. This wasn't a huge problem, but my inability to think on my feet began to get the best of me. (Today I'm thinking it wouldn't have if I prayed more... God could take it away completely, or at least allow me to function.) We got a late start, and I had to ask if we start with announcements or devotions. Normally I know these things. I made a few more blunders before the scheduled "talk", and each one shook me just a little more.

We had a panel discussion which was to cover "favorite tips, curriculum favorites, and things that we have learned over the years." I was on the panel with three other experienced homeschool moms. Well, I soon realized I'd missed an important point: they all came prepared to discuss the fact that it's all about training and discipleship, not curriculum. Their most important homeschool resources are the Bible and a book on being a good wife. Mine is the internet. They were able to discuss the Charlotte Mason method, classical education, and the importance of reading aloud. Like all the time. Thousands of books. My big things are having routines in place, staying home and building skills and relationships there, and teaching my kids to read so they can learn independently. I hate reading aloud. After my introduction, I found there was nothing else I could add to the discussion. I sat there, the chaos manager on a panel of really amazing, magazine article quality homeschool moms. Their years of experience have led them to the fount of wisdom. Mine have led me to put all my kids' assignments for a grade level into one folder for them to manage, and to phonics.

To make matters worse, I'm developing really bad anxiety about speaking in front of this group. (Is it any wonder why?) My mouth gets so dry I can hardly speak, and I can hardly tell what I'm saying. When this happens, apparently I'm still able to connect words, but I can't comprehend what I'm saying to know whether what I've said so far makes sense or if it will go with whatever comes out next. So I don't know what I've really said or whether I'm done. It's horrible.

I must say, I was relieved when it was over. The kids helped me pack up, and we went to lunch. I let Lynae choose from a couple of restaurants, and we went to the one she chose. When we got there, it was super crowded. By the time we finished ordering, though, there was an empty table, so we sat in the dining room to eat. Guess who was on the other side of the dining room? The rest of the panel, along with THE homeschool mom who has been a mentor and example to everyone in our group for years. Can you say "awkward"?

I managed to choke down my lunch and not rush the kids too much, and we came home and took a nap. When I woke up, I felt like I'd been run over, beaten up, and stepped on. I was up and around within an hour, but it was seven excruciating hours before the headache went away.

Anyway, it's all over now... until next week's planned humiliation: camping with the homeschool group as the token fat lady. LOL I love camping. I hope this doesn't ruin it!

Monday cometh

Mood-setting media: Large Family Logistics

Saturday is the day of the week on which I most look forward to Monday. Monday represents a fresh start. God's mercies are new every morning, but I'm not as generous with myself.

This week, I determined that I need to get back to some of my most basic routines. Medications and sleep cycles have been neglected lately, and when my health suffers, so does the family. This afternoon, I announced my intentions to Loren, full of hope and determination. Actually, I started by telling him I plan to become less flexible. LOL Being in charge of our schedule, I often require us to be so flexible that we end up in knots. That just doesn't work for us. I also told him that it's quite a challenge to choose something that works and stay with it, with so many different ways to organize a family and educate children. The grass always seems greener and more consistently cut on the other side of the computer screen, ya know?

In spite of all that, tonight I was reading the blog on Large Family Logistics. Boy oh boy, this woman's got it together. And yet, she can be flexible. She's got a Plan B. She only does her laundry once a week. Ooh, another novel idea! But NO, I'm not falling for the old trap. I will continue with what I have chosen, and be happy that her way works so well. I will keep reading, but only glean and implement what will work for this family, not try to make yet another family's system work for me. Oh, I feel so liberated!

I'll be planning my week in my head tonight as I help the kids get ready for church tomorrow. And hopefully I'll lose some of that overstuffed feeling I got from eating too many homemade egg rolls. Oops!

I made Jon laugh!

Mood-setting media: Randy Travis Worship & Faith

Today was a good day. I made Jon laugh. We laughed together. That hadn't happened since the last time I wrote about it, so you can see it's quite rare. We were discussing the word "sew" and why it doesn't sound like "sue". It was no big deal, but I found his funnybone, which definitely IS a big deal. Gracie was particularly helpful and sweet. Loren installed another window (just one left!) and cleaned the garage. It only got up to 70 degrees, and is currently a beautiful 55 degrees, moony, and foggy. I spent some time on the front steps tonight just drinking it in. If only this were normal here for this time of year! (sigh)

School plans for the year have already changed, just 10 sputtering weeks into it.

I've decided to take Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays off. That way we have a day of rest, a cleaning day (I love Mondays!), and errand/choir day. I'm hoping this will allow us to focus more completely on school when we're doing it, since we won't have to cram it in before going to town.

Instead of writing out weekly assignment sheets from my planner, Toby and Lynae have each been given a folder that will take them through their current "grade" levels. Most of their assignments are spelled out for them, with a couple of pages devoted to "Mom's choice" assignments. All I need to do now is tell them each morning how many assignments I want them to do that day. So far I haven't come up with any reason why it won't work and I'll have to scrap it and start over. I'm a little suspicious.

I've also decided that Jon's going to do very little writing this year -- he'll mostly be reading. It's one of the few things he does without complaint, and he does it well. I figure if I can keep him excited about learning on his own, we can cover written work later on... next semester, next year, or whenever he seems ready to do it without ripping his paper, breaking his pencil, and crying.

Ok, I just deleted a bunch of really dumb stuff. Yet again, I've waited until all is quiet here to sit and write, and now I'm dozing off. I won't try to share what I was thinking... not tonight. If it's worth sharing, it'll come around again. It's time to go find the "good" pillows (a complicated process by which pillows are ranked by size, shape, and pillowcase) and get them arranged just right so I can sleep.

Another very real day

While I was in town last night, I noticed that flood waters are receding in Hopkinsville. Bleachers are once again visible in Trail of Tears Park, and main roads are passable, at least the ones I normally use.

I got groceries last night, and was thrilled to have a manageable total, even after buying Michael's birthday present. And it only took two carts to get it to the truck! Yay!

We were all up by noon today. The dogs went out to enjoy the dry weather, and we have laundry on the line. After several days of rain, it's a nice change. Loren has been working in the kitchen making batches of stew - one for tonight and a couple to freeze. The little ones have been helping him and having a great time. Toby and Lynae are getting laundry and math done, and have earned the privilege of riding their bikes to the post office.

Jon is being Jon. He's working on compound words. He had four to write. One of them had a few mistakes, so I erased it and asked him to rewrite it. Instead, he wet himself (he'd just been sent to the bathroom 30 minutes earlier) and erased the other three as well. He told me since he had to rewrite one, he figured he rewrite them all. Since he hasn't earned the privilege of creating his own assignments, I told him he can rewrite each word 5 times before stopping to eat. That was 20 minutes ago, and so far he's only been poking the apples in the basket in front of him.

I've been at the computer, parenting, and putting out fires. I admire the mothers who can garden, can, cook, sew, clean, scrapbook, etc. while parenting. I can't seem to do any of those things for very long without focusing on them completely. But I can get all sorts of computer work done - and play, too - and still give the kids the help, attention, and supervision they need. So here I sit. It's a temporary phase, but I've done a great job of justifying it, dontcha think? ;-)

9:30 PM update - He's finally done. Praise the living God! That was only a little over 6 hours!