Snow

We have snow. It's not often we see it falling on green leaves. It does look pretty piled on the apples still hanging on the trees.

Most years, I love being out in the autumn weather, enjoying the crisp air and beautiful colors and heavenly smells and flavors. I love putting the garden to bed, walking the property to check the apple trees, driving through the golden glow of the sun-lit trees and feeling their amazing warmth, and taking the kids out back for bug-free evenings of fires and hot dogs and marshmallows. I even look forward to putting away the summer clothes and digging out sweaters, coats, boots, and hats, handing down the hand-me-downs and sending away the littlest people's clothes that have survived being used and outgrown yet again. It's a huge and overwhelming job which takes over half the house for a couple days, but I like the organization and the growth and change it represents.

But not so much this year. This gorgeous season has made it clear to me how much zest I have lost over the past few months. Maybe it has to do with the drastic downturn of our personal economy. It could be because I haven't been taking care of myself for a while, and chronic illness is currently kicking my butt. It probably even has something to do with the fact that I've changed seats at the dining room table since last fall, and no longer have a lovely view of the back yard. Whatever the contributing factors, I don't like it. When I looked out the window last night to see our first beautiful snowfall, there was no excitement. Not even a smile. Only a sigh. And that just won't do. Minnesota is too harsh a place to live without anticipation, joy, and wonder at the changing seasons.

And if October feels like February, how will I ever survive February?

By clinging to God... speaking of which, I'd better get to it!