Wednesday, February 11

Tell me now...

I was at the doctor yesterday. I don't go there often anymore since I upgraded myself to a state of invincibility*, but some things never change, or if they do, it isn't easy. Things that don't really affect your health but you go to the doctor anyway. Shots are a good example, but I never get any shots. The reason I was at the doctor was that I had a wart on the bottom of my foot, and if you ever look at a foot you will quickly notice that the bottom is the part that generally is placed on the ground in an attempt to perform graceful locomotion. During this process, the wart generally hits the ground before the rest of your foot. This requires that the weight of your body drives the wart into your foot every time you step. It isn't pretty.

I had this wart for about two weeks, and then we went to the doctor because it was driving me crazy. Well, wouldn't you know it, halfway to the doctor, we had car trouble. This is not because we are white trash trying to see how much farther we can get our 1986 El Camino to run, these things just happen. So we got it to Deep Rock, and then I ran home to get the car. We finally got to the doctor's office. When we got in the room, the nurse (?) needed to know if I had any health problems. She asked if I was allergic to any medicines, who my doctor is, (to which I replied, "I ain't got one"), how old I was, and then she said, "ok, you're 15, do you smoke?" What do you mean, "do you smoke"? Why would I smoke? Isn't that illegal at my age? Why would I want to do something illegal if it had nothing to do with driving?

So, I told her that I didn't smoke. Then she left and the doctor came in a few minutes later.

The doctor told me all about the method he was going to use, which was the freeze method. I was familiar with this method. I had a wart on the palm of my hand several years ago, and Mom tried to freeze it, but it would not die, and so it stayed there for several years until it just went away. I had a wart on my scalp around the same time, and it too went away after several years. Anyway, I was not too thrilled to hear that the doctor was going to freeze the wart on my foot, but I held still, and it wasn't as bad as I expected.

* This is a joke. Most people my age think they are invincible. I could care less if I'm invincible, all my friends go to the doctor.


  1. Well, when I took the boys to the doc for a check up, because it was required for their insurance, she asked some questions a good deal more personal than "do you smoke?"!!!!! I can't share the wonderful responses that the boys thought up in the car on the way home....

  2. I was a little surprised that's all they asked him, considering... I bet they did come up with some great responses!