Sunday, June 19

SMACK! - the sound of reality

I just found something that Loren has been trying to hide. (Lest you think porn is the worst thing out there, let me assure you, it's not exactly porn. Nor is porn the worst thing out there.) I wasn't surprised, though I have since had a brief fit of rage. It's old news. I've handled it so many different ways over the years I can't even remember them all. It never has mattered if I knew where it was or not... I could always be fairly certain it was around somewhere. The only difference is that when I find it again, this event or that will begin to make sense. For example, it now seems fitting and downright amusing to me that Loren ran over a dead deer recently and had rotting carcass stuck in the undercarriage of his car. Yes, I'm even chuckling as I type it.

The big picture is far from amusing, don't get me wrong. God just has a way of coming up with far more appropriate consequences than I ever could.

This time, rather than dispose of it, I put it in the living room. It's been affecting our family for years - it's time the kids knew what influence has been at work here. The older ones were suitably dismayed. When they felt sick, they left the room. The younger ones, predictably, thought it was cool. That just fits on so many levels. I figure it's time to give Toby and Lynae the opportunity to ask Loren whatever questions they may have about it... it's not my job to cover it up anymore.

So much for me having a sweet and lovely blog. Welcome to my life in broad daylight.


  1. {{ Heidi }}

    just wanted to let you know... I love you and do care.... praying for you....

  2. I'm glad that you are honest. It's hard, but it's reality. There are enough fake "picture perfect" homeschool families out there. All of the "real" homeschoolers need to know that they aren't the only ones who struggle.
    Hang in there.
    God IS good!