Life
Life is much like a large city, there is always something going on, you always have somewhere to be, and every time you look up to see something, you fall behind. That's about how I feel right now.
I feel like I'm standing on a ball, trying to juggle school, housework, family time, a social life, and me time. Every time I stop to do one thing, I fall behind on the others and there's a domino effect; everything tumbles out of order. I lose control and start slipping off my ball. Every time I finish one task, two more have taken it's place. Every once in a while I jump off my ball and curl up under the covers hoping everything else will magically disappear and my life will be perfect, but then someone tells me to wake up and pull my weight, and I'm at it again.
Sometimes I get really into it and can even get ahead in some areas, but usually I am just working at keeping up, and the thought of being ahead is only like a distant boat that I'm not on. Sometimes the stress can get ahold of me and I start making excuses, blaming one thing on another, but really the only way to make it better is to zip it and keep moving on.
As I fumble with all the different parts of my life, I watch other people doing flips and making jokes, never noticing when they land on their heads of start slipping from laughing so hard. All I can see is how well they are doing and wish that I could be like them.
Right now is one of those times. I feel like everyone around me has their life perfectly under control while I'm struggling to stay balanced. Like everyone is completely oblivious to the fear I have of falling behind, and the embarrassment and pain of having everyone stare as I fall and land on my face.
But now I've exhausted all my time on this area of life and must move on to something else before I take a tumble. Until next time, remember, we all take a fall now and then.
Lynae
I can totally relate to this, Lynae, and I think we all (all of us humans, anyway...) feel that way sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI know that I'm having a rough time because of being pregnant and being tired and sick alot. I have days where I get tons of things done, and yet, there is so much more to do. And, of course, I have my days where I can't even get out of bed until noon, partly because I'm sick and partly because I don't want to face the pile of dishes awaiting me in the kitchen.
It's just a battle to fight. But don't stress about falling behind to the point of not enjoying life. When my husband comes home from work, I don't care how many dishes there are to do, I go and watch a movie with him. Because there is work in life, but there is also joy. Don't lose sight of the joy.
Elisabeth is right.
ReplyDeleteNo, really. Reread her comment.
"...the thought of being ahead is only like a distant boat that I'm not on." I love that line.
I think you may lose your balance sometimes (as at least most of us do), but you're far from falling on your face. And I'll be here to help you back up if that ever happens, dear daughter.
Lynae, dear niece, you are far too young to feel this way. Prioritize your responsibilities and keep your daily 'to do' list short. Life is meant to be fun - otherwise why bother? That doesn't mean there isn't pleasure to be had by completing tasks and accomplishments, but you also need the time and inclination to look around and embrace the moment.
ReplyDeleteYou're a precious young lady and we love you.